This Friday, and every Friday, we will be starting off the weekend with a light-hearted article about the strange tales of a Florida man. If you’re not aware of what a Florida man is or how it came to be, Urban Dictionary does a great job of explaining it:
“[Florida man is] a keyword used a lot to describe all the weird news stories about random Floridians committing weird and dumb crimes, due to the state law regarding freedom of press about the fact that every police or court case must be public… Can also be a woman.”
Now that we have a simple foundation of what a Florida man is, let’s get into it.
On a night in 2017 in Merritt Island, Florida, Johnathan Hinkle wanted a ride to his local Hooters. The 28-year-old lied to police, saying his grandma had a stroke in the Hooters’ parking lot and needed a way to get to the restaurant. This was not the case, however, as the grandma was not there.
Hinkle and the 911 dispatcher had an interesting conversation before police arrived:
“My grandmother is having a stroke… She’s at Hooters [and] she is not able to see real well and she’s got a lot of things going on in her life. I was wondering if I could give you guys money just to get me up there to help her. I know this isn’t a serious emergency, but my grandma keeps having heart bypasses and she’s about to have a stroke.
“Do you know if she is having a stroke now?” the dispatcher asks.
Hinkle replied, “No, she just needs my help real bad.”
“Let me make sure this is clear,” the dispatcher said. “You need assistance getting over to Hooters so you can help your Grandma… but at this time she doesn’t need any medical assistance?”
“No,” Hinkle said.
Police arrived at a 7-Eleven where Hinkle was located. He asked the deputies for a ride to Hooters and offered payment for the ride. Together, they went to the Hooters. After searching for a few hours for the grandmother, officers deemed that the grandmother was not there. Hinkle, realizing that the deputies weren’t going to leave or let him stay there, took off in a sprint away from the deputies.
Deputies later found him at a Burger King, where he was arrested for misuse of 911. Later, he was charged with a felony for putting the officers on a wild goose chase and taking up four hours of their time. It was later identified that he was trying to help his girlfriend who got into a car accident earlier near the area. The reason why he did not go straight to his girlfriend with the police is not stated.
Something I find funny in this predicament is the possibility of someone’s grandma living it up in a Hooters. Nonetheless, if you need a ride somewhere and it’s not an emergency, just call an Uber.